Writing

Kinsey learned how to trace letters today, and traced her name for the first time!  Then, she ran into the other room and I said, "Kinsey where are you going?"  And she replied, "I'm going to get Jesus!"

Funny

Me: I need to go wrap Ariah up because she's crying.
Kinsey: It's ok, she can cry if she wants!

Funny

Tonight at bedtime Kinsey was saying her prayers and at the end she said " And Jesus want to play" instead of "In Jesus name I pray."

Kinsey Update

We've been potty training this week, it's going well!  She has accidents, but I can also see her progressing.  I remind her to stay dry every now and then and especially when we're out.  She's pooped twice on the potty, both times without any prompting from us.

Today we had some friends over to go swimming and she jumped in the pool by herself for the first time.  She's been going down a little plastic slide by herself but today was the first time she jumped in.

She can also do somersaults on the couch as of today, too ;)

Her two year molars are coming in.

We saw her birth mother and her half sister and a few other family members yesterday.  It was a good visit.

Humility

A good part of the sermon tonight was about humility.  I wrote down the questions to ask yourself to guage your own humility.  I love, love, love being around people who are authentically humble.  I usually find myself wanting to be so much more like them.

Humility:
1.  Are you teachable?
2.  How do you respond to correction and rebuke?
3.  Do you repent quickly and thoroughly?
4.  How considerate are you of others?
5.  Do you give and receive service well?
6.  Are you constantly aware of God's grace?
7.  Do you disagree agreeably?
8.  How much do you need attention and affirmation?

"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble"...1 Peter 5:5

You can go to tucsonrevolution.com and find the link for the sermon by Josh Reich, should be posted tomorrow sometime.

One more thing to add from last week's sermon that was a big hitter for me..."If there were 10 more of me would it be great or would it just be full of problems?

Happy Birthday Kinsey!

Kinsey is 2 today!  I haven't been blogging lately but I wanted to write down a few things to remember when I look back.

*She's nice and healthy.  80-90th percentile on height and weight, and 60th percentile for head circumference.

*She is using sentences now, 3-4 words. 

*Her latest tv obsession is the Wiggles.  Barney still holds her attention, but she asks for Wiggles now instead.  We have been doing better in cutting down her tv watching to an hour a day.  The Wiggles are supposed to come to the States (they are Australian) this year so we're hoping they'll come close enough for us to go see them live.

*She's learned the word, "scary".  Most recently she went to the zoo with our friend Chris who watches her.  She stood in front of a tiger who put his front paws on the window towering over her, and she was saying "Scary tiger" that day.

*Apparently she wanted to go swimming on her birthday because she fell in the pool today while we were all in the pool area working on the pump.  David plucked her right out but she was saying "scary water!" after that.

*She is extremely active!  The only time she sits still is during tv.  Otherwise she does not stay still for more than a few seconds.  Literally.

*She is learning how to take turns.  It's very hard!

*She loves jumping castles!

*She goes lots of places around town.  The local gymnastics gym, playtime at the library, the zoo, the Desert Museum, a jumping castle place, a local nursery that has goats you can feed, the park, the Children's Museum, and most recently Mt. Lemmon to play in the snow.

*She loves to look at pictures on the computer and she picks out different people/friends she knows.  She probably talks about Baby Nola the most.  She loves Baby Nola.

*David and I took two trips by ourselves in the last year.  She stayed with Chris both times and had a blast I'm sure.  Chris LOVES her and she LOVES Chris.  And Chris' whole family.

*My sister and her family came to visit a couple weeks ago.  It was a great visit and Kinsey played very well with her daughter.  I was expecting lots of time outs for Kinsey not sharing, but she only had to go a few times.  It helped quite a bit that my niece is extremely good at sharing (she's 3 1/2).

*My Mom was here to visit in May and October and she watched Kinsey a couple times for us so we could go out.  It was nice!

*Barney (David) was at her birthday party two weeks ago.  She was not a fan!  She latched onto Chris the whole time.  We eventually got her to wave at him but she wouldn't do anything else. 

*She has seen her birth mother about 4 or 5 times in the last year and it is always a positive experience.

*We keep asking her if she wants a baby sister or a brother and she can't seem to make up her mind.  Sometimes she says sister and sometimes brother.  We have been on the waiting list since February so, Lord willing, we will find out in the next year or two!

Praise!

The last couple days have been worrisome for me.  David actually couldn't go to work on Thursday because he was too tired.  He slept pretty much the whole day except for lunchtime and dinnertime.  Then on Friday he went to work but was so tired and didn't feel like he could do his job because he was too sleepy.  David has always worked sick unless he was absolutely, head-in-the-toilet kind of sick.  So for him to stay home two days in a row was a big deal.  I was home with him Thursday.  Friday I went home early from work because I was was so worried about him. 

He decided after coming home Friday to go back on his previous medication regimen that gave him some side effects but that did help with his alertness some.  And for the first time in weeks I saw a little bit of light in his face!  It was so encouraging and refreshing.  It may only be a temporary fix because of the side effects but still I'm thanking God for a little bit of hope.  I'd been getting more and more worried each day, wondering how he was possibly going to enjoy life.  At the same time, being worried gave me the opportunity to trust in God, something I can easily ignore when I have little to worry about.  So while I'm praising God for the little bit of hope, I'm also thankful for the opportunity to accept God's sovereignty in my life in the midst of uncertainty.

Rearranging Life

My three readers out there probably know about David's somewhat recent narcolepsy diagnosis.  In a nutshell, it's difficult for him to function during the day and in the evening.  He can manage through a workday, and if absolutely necessary he can push out a little schoolwork at night.  That's about it.

Before we knew that he even had something seriously going on, we just kept trying to pursue managing depression, because that's all we could assume it was.  Five years later, we've finally figured out that it's not depression, it's narcolepsy.

When I was in nursing school I thought narcolepsy was an interesting idea; the idea of suddenly falling asleep anywhere intrigued me. 

In real life (we all know that nursing school is NOT real life ;) narcolepsy is debilitating.  I'm watching it happen before my eyes.  It's difficult to watch.  I can't empathize with him, only sympathize.  My latest role is learning how to best support him with this disability.  It's also going to take some serious trust in God for how we will proceed financially if what is best for David is to cut back on work, or have alternative arragements made at work for him.  I'm looking at how we will potentially revamp finances, living arragements, etc., if necessary.  The one thing I have SURELY understood is that Jesus and family come first, and anything after that is an extra blessing.  Working a job will be an extra blessing.  I've lived my whole life with the priority of life being working to make money to provide for myself and family, then being free to do whatever God is calling me to after that.  ALL BACKWARDS!  We should arrange our lives so that Jesus and family come first, then get a job that can accommodate the first two priorites (sometimes the job is part of the first two priorities, but sometimes not). 

I need to pray faithfully for healing, trusting, and patience.  Will you please pray along with me?

The Neighbors

David and I decided to have a block party for our neighborhood.  I'm really looking forward to getting to know our neighbors and being able to build relationships.  When I was growing up and my parents moved us to a different town, my Mom decided to have an open house to meet all the neighbors.  It's a pretty rare thing nowadays, but what a great way to get to know the people that live around us.  I'm sure there are plenty of theories about why as a society we are so closed off.  Really, I don't care why, I'm just going to try to turn it around.

God is still knocking my socks off through the sermons at church.  I wish I could go every day and listen and be inspired...but that would defeat the whole purpose.  I'm inspired to build better relationships and fulfill the command Jesus gave us to go into all nations to spread the hope that He gave us.  David and I are praying about changes we need to make.  I'm overwhelmed, but in a good way.

I told David tonight that ever since he made serious efforts to become the husband God calls him to be (leading, loving, and serving), my relationship with God has changed.  I desire to know God better and obey his commands more fully.  I know it's not coincidence.  My desire to seek God's direction is a direct result of David's strengthening in areas of his own life. 

I feel I'm falling short in my relationships with my co-workers.  I get cranky because perhaps I'd rather be at home with my daughter.  Or perhaps because I'm frustrated with the procedures at work that don't make sense.  Or because I get discouraged from hearing complaining and gossiping, which is just as much coming from me as anyone else.  All this crankiness totally blocks my ability to encourage and share my love and care for them.

Mind Dump

I stole this title from our pastor, who writes a weekly mind dump entry in his blog.  Seems like it will be much easier than trying to write coherent paragraphs!

-I'm beginning to be unsettled about how much excess I have in my home, when there are so many starving and poor people around the world.

-This is partly because of some recent sermons at church and partly because I've been reading the book, Radical by David Platt.

-Also I've been really thinking about how my life is so little like what Jesus actually calls us to. 

-Kinsey has been saying new words constantly.  I used to be so amazed that she was saying one new word almost every day, and now it's more like 2 or 3 every day.

-She pooped in the potty once.  We are not potty training, but she told me "poop" when she was in the bathtub the other night so I took her out and set her on the toilet.  I was about to take her off because nothing happened for a little while when all of a sudden I heard a plop.  Now, if I ask her if she wants to get on the potty she shakes her head no really fast.

-We went to a gymnastics place this morning that has an hour of open playtime and Kinsey loved it.  She ran around like crazy.  Her favorite part was the trampolines that were built into the floor.

Back to Blogging

I was going to stop blogging about everything except Kinsey's milestones.  I changed my mind.  Sometimes there is nothing more encouraging to read older blogs.  I could just write my own journal but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be nearly as consistent because I would get lazy, since I'd know I'd only be disappointing myself.  If I make it more public people might expect posts every now and then.  And it's easier to let myself down than to let others down!

I think I've mentioned before about a different church we started attending last November, Revolution.  I can tell my life has been gradually changing the longer we attend.  Currently we are doing a 4 week marriage study and it has knocked my socks off.  Our marriage is CHANGED!  It is fantastic.  We really had to be truthful about what our priorities had become.  We had to be reminded that becoming Christlike is the aim in marriage.  And as spouses we need to do whatever it takes to encourage our spouse to seek Christ and his likeness.

More when it's not so late.  I'm trying to decide if I have enough energy to make it to the bedroom or if I should just crash on the couch!!

July

At the beginning of the month David and I went to Scottsdale for two nights, and Kinsey stayed with Chris.  It was so relaxing.  We met my cousin for dinner on Saturday night.  On Sunday we went to the Arizona Mills Mall and David couldn't stop buying stuff for Kinsey.  We also went swimming and went to dinner at Four Peaks Pub.  On Monday we stopped at IKEA on the way home because David had never been.  Oh, and lots of naps were involved, of course!  We can't wait for our next getaway!

We held a going away party at our house for some dear friends who are off to spend a year in Phoenix for an internship before heading to India as missionaries.

I went with a couple friends to spend the night on Mt. Lemmon in a cabin.  It was very nice, I'm getting very spoiled with getaways!  I'm ready to go back!

Kinsey had her 15 month check up and is doing great.  She does get a rash around her mouth with acidic foods but it doesn't bother her, so the pediatrician said to just keep giving her those foods, no worries.  There was this really long questionnaire I had to fill out about her development and there was one area where she didn't quite meet up to norms, but I don't remember what it was.  Some of the stuff on the questionnaire I couldn't answer because I just had never seen her do what they asked...for example putting something small like a cheerio into something like a water bottle.  Huh?  So I'm not at all concerned about her supposedly being behind in some area.  She seems perfectly normal to me! 

The only other thing we really talked about was her weight because she is very "healthy" in that area.  I had been giving her 2 percent milk because I figured based on her appearance she was getting plenty of fat in her diet so I thought I'd trim in that area.  Pediatrician said not to do that, she needs the fat for brain development.  I'm not convinced she actually needs it because like I said she looks like she's holding on to plenty of it.  But, I switched her back to whole milk anyways because that's what I'm supposed to do.  I was worrying a lot about whether I was feeding Kinsey properly and how her mealtimes were going.  But I talked with one of my friends and she said basically as long as I'm feeding her good foods, to stop worrying.  She doesn't eat junk food at home except on rare occasions, otherwise I do fruits, veggies, dairy, bread, eggs, and some meats.  She doesn't seem to be a big meat eater but since she eats eggs I let it go.  She used to love lunch meat but now she won't eat more than one or two bites.

Her favorite word is puppy.  She wakes up saying this word, says it all day long, and sometimes it's the last word she says before she goes into her crib.  I have a bunch of stuffed animals from when I was younger and one of them is a Pound Puppy.  It is her absolute favorite.  She also has a knit blanket made by my grandmother that was mine when I was a baby.  She will laugh or shriek when she sees either one of them if they haven't been in sight in a while.

She also is big into testing limits now.  Standing up on the couch, hitting, kicking when we change her diaper, and on and on.  She gets a nice healthy amount of pack n play time each day when she's doing these things!

June in Review

I'm not sure how much more I'll be blogging, but I realized I would like to keep writing about Kinsey and what we're doing because I will want to look back and read about it in the years ahead.

Things seemed like they were a little more steady for me at work this month, so I felt like I got into somewhat of a pattern which feels good.  I'm still a little torn on how much God wants me to be working.  I don't feel very in tune with what He wants probably because I'm spending very little time with Him.  I need some radical changes in my attitudes, decisions, and desires.

We went to Chris' house for a Memorial Day picnic.  It's always a good time going over there and feels like family.  Without them we would feel a lot more lonely on the holidays! 

Kinsey's child dedication was the first weekend in June.  I blogged about it in a previous post.

All three of us caught a cold toward the end of June and I ended up taking almost a whole week off work.  It was not a fun time.  Kinsey was a trooper though and it didn't really even seem to bring her down.

We finally got our pool up and running so we were able to go swimming a few days.  I think we fixed it around the middle of the month so every day I'm off I've been swimming with her since then.  She loves to swim and when we get her suit on and go outside she says, "Yaaa!"  She still says that to a lot of things though, it's very cute. 

She also started feeding herself with a spoon.  She doesn't get much on the spoon and half of what she does get ends up on her bib, but she totally gets how it's done. 

She still cannot get enough of books.  She will bring you one, turn around, back up to you, and sit down in your lap. 

Her latest obsession is the vacuum, which she calls "up".  Our floors stay well vacuumed because of this!

Status Update

I was about to post this status on Facebook:
"I'm thinking the two huge bumps in Kinsey's gums would explain her fussing and me getting called from the nursery early to come get her tonight."

So many times I write a status like this and then think, "Who really cares?" and erase it, like I did tonight.  Status updates seem like a way for us to be known by others.  It feels so vain.  I don't mind reading status updates of friends I am very close to.  I also like reading updates from people who have a sense of humor.  But mostly, it's just about details in life that we all experience.   Does everyone really need to know when Kinsey is teething or when she started eating with a spoon?  All my Facebook parent friends experience these times so it's nothing new to them.  The friends I am close to know what's going on without my status update because I already talk to them almost daily.  So what's the point?

It's just a weird phenomenon to me, and for some reason I still do it.  Not much different than blogging, but I'm still doing that too.  For all 2 of my readers...haha.  I really don't know my purpose in all this social media.  Is it actually some sort of addiction? 

Look Who's Talking!

I thought I should document the words Kinsey is saying lately because I think it will be cute to look back on one day and remember.

Full words she can say and knows the meaning:

Dada
Mama/Mommy
Puppy
Up
Abby (from Sesame Street)
Uh oh
Yeah
Apple

Partial words she can say and knows the meaning:

Ffff-giraffe
Ffff-phone
Ffff-fan

Buh-bird
Buh-blanket
Buh-book
Buh-bear

Ahh-hot (I think)

Sss-glasses
Sss-Aunt Chris

(Slurpy noise)--kitty

She can also bark and make a monkey sound.

Signs she can do:

Please
Thank you (although she only does this on command and I don't expect her to know what it means yet)
All done
More

The list of things she can't say but can identify when I ask too many to count.  But one of my favorites right now is when you ask, "Where's Kinsey?" she will point to herself.  The other thing I think is adorable is when I ask her questions she will very often reply "yeah" and it's so cute because it's as if she knows what I'm talking about and is answering me.  Which I'm sure sometimes she does know and is in fact answering me, but I can ask her a totally off the wall question and she will still answer "yeah".

That's all that comes to mind right now...I could be missing some.

Is It Really Summer?

Except for the 100+ degree weather and the Arizona fires, I wouldn't guess it to be summer.  First of all, I've only been swimming a couple times because I'm having a hard time getting the pool chemicals under control.  Looks like I'm actually going to have to drain the pool and start fresh because of too much calcium.  Bummer.

Secondly, I seem to have caught a cold.  I thought I had enough sickness this winter to last me all year.  Apparently not.  Already had to call in sick twice this week and went home early one day.  Kinsey has a runny nose, but she is also cutting a tooth.  I'm really hoping that's all she'll get but chances are she'll probably get sick too.

I am soooo looking forward to monsoon season.  It's my absolute favorite time of year here.  I'm looking forward to taking Kinsey out in the rain to splash in the puddles!

Zucchini Coming Out of My Ears!

Note to self...you do not need to plant 3 zucchini plants next year!

Over the last 3 days I have picked 5 zucchini.  Yesterday I tried to make a pizza/quiche type recipe that had zucchini in the crust.  It was kind of gross.  Today I made a zucchini chowder so we will see how this turns out.  I could actually be a good cook if I wanted to because I know how to.  It just is a lot of effort for a couple of people who aren't into eating big or extravagant meals.  We're pretty content with Hamburger Helper.  BUT I planted my vegetables this year to try to get into cooking a little bit more with fresh ingredients, so I am trying.  If nothing else at least I feel like I am putting a little more effort into the health of my family, even if sometimes it turns out to be a flop.

Cucumbers are getting close to being harvested too...now what to do with those besides put them in salad (which I don't care much for)????

Can I Get a Mulligan?

Today was one of those days I just wanted to redo.  Specifically, Kinsey's dedication at church.  There were quite a few people that came and when I first let people know, I didn't expect very many people to come, so I didn't even tell too many people other than family and our life group.  We actually filled two full rows up.  Kinsey was a peach all day, and I expected her just to hang out in my arms on stage till the dedication was over.  She had other plans.  She wanted to grab the baby (2 months old) next to her's flower in her hair, then when I let her down she wanted to go go go.  Well that would have been fine except for the two foot drop off the stage, which wouldn't have been a pretty sight.  So David and I tried to keep her contained and there was a LOT of protesting.  I have no idea what the pastor was saying really so it's a good thing they give us a list of what we committed to doing as parents afterwards!  Really, it was fine.  It's not like the actual event of the dedication is what makes us commit to raising Kinsey in a Godly manner, it's more just a public proclamation of what we have already decided to do. 

Then, what probably is bothering me more has to do with the fact the service went about 20 minutes over what it normally runs because the sermon was extra long, and some of our guests had a party to go to afterward.  So I feel bad about that.  I've told everyone how much I love this church and of course tonight was not a night I loved, so naturally I'm feeling like a big fat liar.  I really expected and hoped people would be as blown away as I have been since I have been going.  I KNOW that God means for things to happen in ways that bring Him glory (even things that are evil! Genesis 50:20, but sometimes it hard to TRUST, because I don't always UNDERSTAND.  I should be saying that even though I may not have been impacted nor even my friends, certainly God had people who needed to hear what was being said and probably even needed the sermon to be long so they would get what God wanted to say to them.  Or not!  He could have plans totally not even in my realm of thinking!

I like the song "My Own Little World" by Matthew West, here are some of the parts of the song I really like and that I need to let sink in right now:

In my own little world it hardly ever rains

I've never gone hungry, always felt safe
I got some money in my pocket, shoes on my feet
In my own little world, population: me


I try to stay awake during Sunday morning church
I throw a twenty in the plate but I never give 'til it hurts
And I turn off the news when I don't like what I see
Yeah, it's easy to do when it's population: me


What if there's a bigger picture?
What if I'm missing out?
What if there's a greater purpose?
I could be living right now
Outside my own little world

And this especially:

Father, break my heart for what breaks Yours

Give me open hands and open doors
Put Your light in my eyes and let me see
That my own little world is not about me

So I really don't need a mulligan.  Kinsey's behavior didn't bother me at all.  It actually makes me laugh (and finally show people that she's not always an angel!).  As for the service, I need to let it go and realize it's not about population me-and-my-friends or me-and-my-pride.  I think I'm getting some therapy from writing this blog too. 

I will post some pictures of a not-so-happy Kinsey on this "special" day soon :)

Zucchini!

I planted zucchini and cucumbers the first week in April.  I heard they were pretty easy to grow and I wanted to try growing my own vegetables so I'd (hopefully) be more inclined to cook with them.  The plants are doing pretty well although I did have to spray them with a bug spray a couple weeks ago because some leaves were showing a little bit of damage.  I have had a few zucchini on each of my three plants, but so far only one has grown to full size.  The others have turned yellow and look like they're not going to make it.  I'm hoping I will get more as the summer goes on.  So far no cucumbers yet but I'm thinking it's just a little early for them.

May in Review

This past month we ended up focusing a bunch on Kinsey's poop.  Yep, poop.  And LOTS of it.  We kept adjusting her diet and oddly enough it seemed like it would get better on days she was home with us and then act up a little when she went to the sitter's house.  Turned out that was all just coincidence, because the pediatrician ordered some stool samples and blood tests that came back showing she had an intestinal infection.  She was given a 5 day run of antibiotics and her poop is back to the lovely solid texture and smell we know it to be ;)  I was relieved that it was an infection, actually, because the next thing the doctor was suspecting was celiac disease (gluten intolerance) and I wasn't looking forward to having to modify her diet for the rest of her life.  It would have been doable but since I am a very poor meal planner as it is, it certainly would have been a big challenge for me. 

With the infection I went through a few days of feeling like a neglectful Mom for not keeping her from putting her hands all over everything or crawling on the floor when we're out in public places, or for not preventing her from putting rocks in her mouth, or for not worrying when the dog was drinking out of the water toy she plays with outside.  I got over it when the pediatrician said to go ahead and have the dogs tested for the same thing, and if it comes back positive then we can treat the dogs and I'll know the source.  If the dogs are negative, then she said just let her be a kid and if it happens again, we'll start looking at ways to keep her from getting less germy.  I REALLY like this pediatrician.  She's not the one we've been seeing because she was the only one available when I needed to take her in.  I may try to switch to her if possible.

My Mom came to visit for an extended weekend.  We had a little barbecue with family which was nice.  We invited Kinsey's birth mother but she didn't come, and we were sad but we hope to connect with her again soon.  We were able to see her and her family on the week prior on Mother's Day which was nice.  Unfortunately Kinsey was a little cranky that day for some reason so we didn't stay as long as we would have liked.

Other than that we had our first swim of the season.  Kinsey and I went three times so far.  The pool is a tad cold but so worth it once you get used to the water. 

Chris (I don't want to keep referring to her as "the sitter" because she's not just our sitter, she's become a dear friend) took her to the zoo again this month. 

We almost took her to the botanical gardens until we realized the butterfly exhibit is closed until October.

Finally on Wednesday Kinsey and I went with another Mom and daughter to the Children's Museum.  It's a very cool place and appropriate for Kinsey's age, but I think it will be even more fun to take her when she's older and she can understand some of the exhibits instead of just seeing everything as a climbing obstacle ;)

This weekend we have a picnic to go to and are planning to chill out otherwise...probably some swimming involved too if I can get our pool cleared up.

At the end of this month my cousin will be having a kidney transplant...would appreciate prayer for her and her family.

Next month will be Kinsey's child dedication at church!  I'm looking forward to it simply because it is a very important event in her childhood.  We have several friends who are planning to come to the service so it will be great to share going to church with them.

We have been talking a little more about whether we want to pursue another adoption.  I think we're reasonably certain we are going to be called by God to do so but not certain about timing, age, agency, foster-adopt vs straight adoption, etc.  We're not there yet, but it's at least on our minds occasionally.

Here are the pictures from May.  I will probably add a few more over the next few days too.