Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Rearranging Life

My three readers out there probably know about David's somewhat recent narcolepsy diagnosis.  In a nutshell, it's difficult for him to function during the day and in the evening.  He can manage through a workday, and if absolutely necessary he can push out a little schoolwork at night.  That's about it.

Before we knew that he even had something seriously going on, we just kept trying to pursue managing depression, because that's all we could assume it was.  Five years later, we've finally figured out that it's not depression, it's narcolepsy.

When I was in nursing school I thought narcolepsy was an interesting idea; the idea of suddenly falling asleep anywhere intrigued me. 

In real life (we all know that nursing school is NOT real life ;) narcolepsy is debilitating.  I'm watching it happen before my eyes.  It's difficult to watch.  I can't empathize with him, only sympathize.  My latest role is learning how to best support him with this disability.  It's also going to take some serious trust in God for how we will proceed financially if what is best for David is to cut back on work, or have alternative arragements made at work for him.  I'm looking at how we will potentially revamp finances, living arragements, etc., if necessary.  The one thing I have SURELY understood is that Jesus and family come first, and anything after that is an extra blessing.  Working a job will be an extra blessing.  I've lived my whole life with the priority of life being working to make money to provide for myself and family, then being free to do whatever God is calling me to after that.  ALL BACKWARDS!  We should arrange our lives so that Jesus and family come first, then get a job that can accommodate the first two priorites (sometimes the job is part of the first two priorities, but sometimes not). 

I need to pray faithfully for healing, trusting, and patience.  Will you please pray along with me?

Sunday, October 16, 2011

The Neighbors

David and I decided to have a block party for our neighborhood.  I'm really looking forward to getting to know our neighbors and being able to build relationships.  When I was growing up and my parents moved us to a different town, my Mom decided to have an open house to meet all the neighbors.  It's a pretty rare thing nowadays, but what a great way to get to know the people that live around us.  I'm sure there are plenty of theories about why as a society we are so closed off.  Really, I don't care why, I'm just going to try to turn it around.

God is still knocking my socks off through the sermons at church.  I wish I could go every day and listen and be inspired...but that would defeat the whole purpose.  I'm inspired to build better relationships and fulfill the command Jesus gave us to go into all nations to spread the hope that He gave us.  David and I are praying about changes we need to make.  I'm overwhelmed, but in a good way.

I told David tonight that ever since he made serious efforts to become the husband God calls him to be (leading, loving, and serving), my relationship with God has changed.  I desire to know God better and obey his commands more fully.  I know it's not coincidence.  My desire to seek God's direction is a direct result of David's strengthening in areas of his own life. 

I feel I'm falling short in my relationships with my co-workers.  I get cranky because perhaps I'd rather be at home with my daughter.  Or perhaps because I'm frustrated with the procedures at work that don't make sense.  Or because I get discouraged from hearing complaining and gossiping, which is just as much coming from me as anyone else.  All this crankiness totally blocks my ability to encourage and share my love and care for them.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Mind Dump

I stole this title from our pastor, who writes a weekly mind dump entry in his blog.  Seems like it will be much easier than trying to write coherent paragraphs!

-I'm beginning to be unsettled about how much excess I have in my home, when there are so many starving and poor people around the world.

-This is partly because of some recent sermons at church and partly because I've been reading the book, Radical by David Platt.

-Also I've been really thinking about how my life is so little like what Jesus actually calls us to. 

-Kinsey has been saying new words constantly.  I used to be so amazed that she was saying one new word almost every day, and now it's more like 2 or 3 every day.

-She pooped in the potty once.  We are not potty training, but she told me "poop" when she was in the bathtub the other night so I took her out and set her on the toilet.  I was about to take her off because nothing happened for a little while when all of a sudden I heard a plop.  Now, if I ask her if she wants to get on the potty she shakes her head no really fast.

-We went to a gymnastics place this morning that has an hour of open playtime and Kinsey loved it.  She ran around like crazy.  Her favorite part was the trampolines that were built into the floor.