Thursday, December 17, 2009


David submitted his retirement application yesterday! That is crazy! I've only been in my career two years and he's already at 19! It's hard for me to imagine being in a career that long, and also knowing there is a whole other career to go in this lifetime. It seems like such a huge accomplishment, and I can't relate at all. But I'm so proud of him. I joke about his age a lot; lately I've taken to calling him Grandpa! But he has done amazing things in his career. I'm proud of him for being focused on the mission and holding to his integrity even when it sometimes meant not being popular. I'm proud of him for how much he cares about the younger airmen. He has been more than willing to sacrifice his own time and resources to help his troops succeed.

With retirement comes some uncertainty, though. The job market is still shaky and he's only about three to six months from starting the job hunt. I'm not feeling worry right now. I've seen two sets of friends go through job search struggles recently and both have come out stronger for it. So I know the world won't end if things don't go the way we hope. We'll just have to learn and grow with wherever God is taking us! Easier said than done, I know. But I better not kill the optimism yet!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Invisibility and Contentment

I think we all feel kind of invisible at times.  Jealousy is something that can make me feel invisible.  Rejection can make me feel invisible.  Not being the center of attention can make me feel invisible (which I find interesting since I decided I'm probably an introvert--the jury is still out on that one though).  Not having my desires taken into account by other people can make me feel the most invisible.  When I feel invisible it is usually because I feel I deserve to be treated better or because I think "If only..." then life would be better and I wouldn't be invisible.

What I think counteracts the invisible/insecure feelings is having a measure of contentment.  Attaining this would happen differently for everybody, but will generally have something to do with changing perspective or attitude.  So go ahead, I dare you to answer the sentence, "For me to gain a measure of contentment without changing any of my circumstances, I need to..."

I feel more content than I ever have in my life, despite sometimes feeling invisible.  What I most recently read in Afflictions by Edith Schaeffer is that we can only ask/expect to have a measure of contentment.  We are not perfect beings and therefore can't reach a fulfillment of contentment.  I believe I have a measure of it, and that makes me feel like I'm "traveling light".  And because I'm feeling this way, I'd like to go on a new venture.  (Don't worry, I'm still keeping my job!)  I don't know what this means, and I'd love some guidance.  Brainstorming is not my forte.  All my brain can process is that I want to find something where my talents or skills can be used for something I'm passionate about.  I don't know exactly what I'm passionate about, but if I had to pick some interest areas they would be elderly people, homeless people, women and children in poverty, people who are depressed, people who are disabled.  I'm generally a worker bee but I'd also love to be part of something dynamic.  I think there's something out there, but I haven't found it just by perusing the volunteer websites or church bulletins.

Comment away if you have any suggestions!