I'm a Workin' Woman!

I've had two days back to work now.  Kinsey was normal over the weekend.  I felt like I really cherished the time I had with her.  Being away from her really makes me want to love on her all that much more when I'm with her. 

Yesterday I worked and she went to the babysitter's house.  David picked her up after work and at home I played with her a little.  We shared smiles and play time.  She went her normal 3 1/2 hours until her feeding which was nice.  Then I put her to bed like normal, and she slept a full 11 hours!  So whatever the babysitter did that day, I'm all for it!  One thing I know I'm going to have to learn in being a working Mom is to be more flexible.  I have been very schedule driven which I think goes along well with my personality and makes the stress less.  But, since she's not going to be with me all the time, I know that I can't control everything.  I talked to the babysitter about my work schedule and we got to talking about how things are going, and she said she generally feeds based on cues.  So sometimes she will go 2 1/2 hours or 3 hours, instead of my normal 3 1/2.  That's different from my approach, but I know it's not a wrong approach.  Most mothers probably feed more like that anyways.  The only problem would be if it starts affecting Kinsey's mood or sleeping habits I would think, but I kinda doubt it.  And if that happened, I feel completely comfortable at this point talking to the babysitter about coming up with a solution. 

I also asked her if it was ok if I brought Kinsey over in the morning without having fed her yet.  The reason is because I hate to wake her up just to feed her so we can leave.  I would prefer she wake up a little more naturally.  Since she's sleeping so much longer now, that would require me putting her down around 7pm in order for her to get her full night's sleep.  I don't want to only have an hour and a half with her at night, so I'd still like to keep her up for a while.  Getting her up and into the carseat might end up waking her anyways, but at least it will be a little later so she can sleep a little longer.  The babysitter was totally fine with that.

I don't have a lot of days scheduled to work in July.  I'm not sure how I feel about that.  On one hand, I'll love it, on the other hand, the extra money would be nice.  We'll see!!

First Day Back to Work

Today was my first official day back to work.  Fortunately, David dropped Kinsey off in the morning.  I'm sure that made it easier on me emotionally.  He also picked her up at the end of the day.

It was a nice, calm day at work.  My co-workers were great, and the doctors who were there today are so easy to work with.  The babysitter sent a picture text to her sister, (also my co-worker) so I got to see a couple cute pics from the day.  It made me excited and sad at the same time.

I wasn't feeling too upset about the whole thing during the day, and was a bit proud to know I would be bringing in a little extra money.  I'd rather have a feeling of being thankful; I think that would be better.  But pride it was.  "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." James 5:6

This isn't a post about pride, so I digress.

When I got home, I was excited to see Kinsey.  She was a little sleepy, so she didn't really give me any smiles.  That was disappointing.  She also got hungry too early based on my normal schedule, so that freaked me out for a little while.  I got teary.  It made me sad that I wasn't with her all day to keep her on my beloved schedule.  It also made me sad to think that it was someone else who got to spend the day with her, not me.  After an hour or so she finally sat in my lap and smiled at me for a few minutes.  Then I gave her a bath.  Those two things really helped me feel better and feel like I had quality time to connect with her.

What I am thankful for is that my first day back was a Friday, so I have two days off before I go in again.  It would be much harder to have to turn around and go back to work again.  Next week I work Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, so I will have a day in between each work day.  Hopefully that will help.

13 Weeks and 3 Months!

Thirteen weeks came yesterday, and today she turned 3 months old!

I have little to report on changes.  She is still doing sooo great.  Sleeping between 9 and 11 hours at night, napping 3 times a day, and smiling up a storm!  I read that at this age babies' favorite thing to look at is faces, and it is very true for Kinsey.  She will smile and talk with sweet "ahhhh ooohhh" sounds and occasionally a squeal while sitting on our lap looking at us.

Today I had a short orientation for a nursing agency to do some on-call work either at some facilities or for home care.  I took Kinsey to the babysitter's house for the morning, and everything went fine!  I was a lot more anxious about it yesterday.  Today I was just tired in the morning so maybe I didn't have the energy to be anxious!  Tomorrow is my first full day back at my regular job.  It will be the first time she will be away from me all day.  The good thing is that David will be the one to drop her off so that should help me A LOT. 

I am so glad we have the babysitter we have, she's a co-worker's sister. She is just so sweet and loving and I know will be an awesome caregiver for my daughter.

I'm going to switch to doing monthly updates for Kinsey now that she has hit the 3 month mark, unless there is a new deveopment to report.

Here are the pictures from the month!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2178384&id=71210563&l=ba3b80d36a

Woe Is Me Rollercoaster

I've been on a "woe is me" rollercoaster. 

Woe was me when I was facing infertility. 

Woe wasn't me when we were first starting the adoption process; it was exciting. 

Woe was me when we "had" to wait so long. 

Woe wasn't me when we found out about Kinsey. 

Woe was me because I was having lots of joint pain and other weird things while we were waiting for Kinsey to be born. 

Woe wasn't me once Kinsey was here. 

Woe is me again because the pain is back, because I feel sometimes outcasted/rejected, because because because...

I have a lesson to apply here.  I have to remember that dwelling on my circumstances won't help.  It didn't make it any easier when I was in the midst of any of my woes in the past.  It's ridiculously easy to have a pity party for myself, though.  I've done it all my life.  Rather than accept, I complain, pout, make excuses, and complain some more. 

I want want want to get up in the morning and know that even if I'm having a hard day, there is joy to be had, and that  "...he who began a good work in [me] will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ."  Phil 1:6  There is always a bigger picture.  It's a good one, I am assured of that.  Joys always outweigh woes, at least that's how I think Jesus and Paul looked at it.

Week 12 - My Smiling and Sleeping Queen!

 Kinsey is really good at smiling!  It is even easy to distract her when she gets a tiny bit fussy by sitting her on my lap facing me, and smiling at her.  She'll smile back and even start babbling sometimes.

The best thing this week has been her sleep.  I was reading Baby Wise some more, which is what I have tried to use as a guideline since the beginning.  Before this week she had been sleeping between 6 and 7 hours.  When she woke up I would feed her and put her back to bed to sleep another 4 hours.  I read that she could, in theory, be capable of sleeping up to 11 hours at night, and that when she wakes up she is not necessarily hungry.  She may just need to burn off some energy or she may have woken up without knowing really how to get back to sleep on her own.  So the first couple nights when she woke up around 4 or so, I rocked her back to sleep.  Then for a couple nights I just patted her while she was in her crib, and let her cry it out a little.  Then the last several nights I have not even gone in to her room when I hear her, I just let her be.  She goes back to sleep within 10 minutes max, and she is sleeping about 9 1/2 hours.  It's not even really crying that she does, it's more just like a little bit of loud talking mixed with some fussing.  She still naps 3 times a day, so things are very blissful right now!

She is also putting her hands to her mouth a bunch.  She seems to do this when she's tired and hungry.  She doesn't like a pacifier, so I'm assuming she's going to suck her thumb eventually.  Not grabbing at anything yet on purpose, but she can hold on to small objects like the connecting rings if I put them in her hands.

Week 11 - Visit from Grandpa!

Grandpa came to visit Friday-Tuesday.  It was a great visit!  Kinsey smiled a lot for him.  We went to my cousin's softball game on Saturday morning.  He helped us fix our creaky bedroom door on Sunday, and on Monday we went to my cousin's and spent the day there.  I absolutely love living in the same city with family.  I had my grandparents around when I was growing up, and I certainly took it for granted then.  Now I really cherish the time we get to spend with family, and living in the same place is awesome.

Yesterday Kinsey did a fabulous job of napping.  Then, I decided to try to have her sleep at night without swaddling her.  She has gone down without any problems during the day for her naps without swaddling her, so I decided I might as well try it.  My friend Danielle told me a while back to go ahead and try something if you want, because if you botch it up, you'll only do it once!  Anyways, Kinsey slept 7 hours straight so I'm thinking that's a great sign. 

Here is my napping queen yesterday:

Week 10 - Roll Over and Nursery Time

Kinsey does not like tummy time, and I probably only give her 5 or 10 minutes a day of it, rather than the 20 minutes the nurses in the hospital told me to give her.  I'm pretty sure it won't affect the rest of her life though ;)  She is starting to be able to lift her head up and even her chest while she is on her stomach, so we finally saw some progress!  Also, one time earlier in the week I put her on her tummy with one arm crossed under her, and she flipped herself onto her back!  So of course I did that a few more times for my own entertainment.  Plus, she can get her legs tucked under her with her butt in the air, so cute.  She is starting to turn on her side almost every time I put her under her play gym mat.

On Sunday evening we put her in the nursery for church!  I was completely nervous the whole time that she would get fussy for the workers and give them a hard time.  Although probably a normal feeling, it was somewhat irrational because she is rarely very fussy anymore.  When we went to pick her up after the service, the lady in charge was holding her and one of the middle school girls was talking to her, it was cute.  They said she got a little fussy in the beginning so they took her out of her car seat and changed her diaper.  I'm guessing it was because she was getting tired of being in her car seat; she doesn't like to stay in there very long unless she's sleeping or moving in the car.  So all in all, a success and I will feel more confident next time. 

I am a day late posting, so I will go ahead and report on her 2 month well baby check, which was today.  13 pounds 13 ounces put her in the 90th percentile.  She is 23 inches and head circumference is 40 cm, those I think are 75th percentile.  She also had three shots, and cried for a few seconds and then was fine.  However, a few hours later she was very fussy and inconsolable for a short amount of time.  I was watching my cousin's son at the time and my cousin was on her way home, so I asked her to pick up some infant tylenol.  She did, but of course when she got home I was able to get her back asleep.  I could have just waited to get it after my cousin came home, but I suppose first time Mom with first time shots gives me a pass to mini-freak out once, right?  I gave her the medicine and she has been better the rest of the day, slightly more fussy than normal but only noticeable by me I'm sure.

I'm planning an upcoming post about how often I "feel bad" about so many things.  I have more to ponder on this before I post, though.

Here are a couple pictures from the week...

This one is so cute because it was before we went swimming, so I imagine her to be saying, "Can we get on with the swimming and stop all this picture taking puhleeease?"

Here is a good Daddy in uniform with daughter picture: