Tuesday, July 20, 2010


If my dogs had been in the movie, Up, squirrels would do nothing for them.  But thunder, yes!  This middle of the night post has little to do with my insomnia and everything to do with my dogs being unable to stop whining because of the thunderstorm.  I am quite thankful I don't have to work tomorrow!  The picture, by the way, has nothing to do with their current dilemma, it was just a recent picture of the two of them with Kinsey, of course.  Currently, Kinsey is fast asleep in her crib with no apparent awareness of the thunderstorm.

I was having a dream that I had rearranged the furniture in the house and needed to get outside to the car.  For some reason David and I decided we needed to sleep out there because of the storm.  The furniture was in the way and I couldn't get past it, so I started screaming for my sister, but no sound would come out.  I woke myself up and realized it was a dream, heard the dogs whining, but went back to sleep anyways.  I dreamt about the same thing again.  The second time I woke up I heard the dogs whining again and decided it wouldn't stop unless they got some attention.  Now they are quiet while I sit with them.

I never ate the Subway sandwich my husband bought for me tonight, so I figured now is as good a time as any!

I suppose there is no point to this post, so I will leave you with some great words from a friend's devotion.  She posted it on facebook without a reference, but I thought it too worthy not to pass along despite the lack of reference.  I don't know if they are her own words, paraphrased from her devotion, or taken straight from her daily devotion.  But they are good, and really something for me to ponder:

Who am I trying to convince? (copied from Desteni's Facebook note, July 19, 2010)

Another great devotional from today...

Trying to prove how good we are, trying to prove we're good enough, trying to show someone how much he or she has hurt us, trying to show someone we're understanding, are warning signs that we may be into our self defeating behaviors.

They can be an indication that we are trying to control someone. They can be an indication that we do not believe how good we are, that we're good enough, that someone is hurting us.

They can be a warning that we've allowed ourselves to get hooked into a dysfunctional system. They may indicate that we're stuck in the cloudy fog of denial or doing something that is not good for us.

Trying excessively to make a point with another may mean that we have not yet made that point with ourselves. Once we make that point with ourselves, once we understand, we will know what to do.

The issue is not about others understanding and taking us seriously. The issue is not about others believing we're good and good enough. The issue is not about others seeing and believing how responsible or loving or competent we are. The issue is not about whether others realize how deeply we are feeling a particular feeling. We are the ones that need to see the light.

Today, God, help me let go of my need to control outcomes by influencing the beliefs of others. I will concentrate on accepting myself, rather than trying to prove something about myself. If I catch myself in the codependent trap of trying to emphasize something about myself to another, I will ask myself if I need to convince myself at that point.

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