This week I couldn't get her to nap for the life of me! I was also having a hard time with her fussing, and I was quite sleep deprived. I think Kinsey and I both were, actually. By Saturday I was emotionally drained, and we went to a friend's 1 year-old's birthday party and I just cried after I sat down with my friends and they asked me how I was. There are two times when I cry that I don't like...when I'm stressed and when I'm tired. This time, I didn't even feel very stressed out, I was just so tired that the only thing I had in me were tears. So we didn't stay for very long, and went home. David watched Kinsey while I tried to nap, which I wasn't very successful at. But I rested fairly well on Saturday night, and on Sunday morning David sent me off to a facial and a massage for Mother's Day. It was awesome! When I came home we got ready to go to the birth mother's aunt's house to see the birth family. It went well. We were there for about three hours and everyone was holding her, she napped almost the whole time except for feeding.
On Sunday night she did a five hour span of sleep, which was wonderful. Then on Monday she magically started napping! We switched to the partially broken down whey protein formula, and I think it's helping. I also had a long conversation with some friends and my sister about how to handle her crying throughout the day, and my change in attitude has helped also. What I learned was that it's most important that she is safe, clean, and fed. Beyond that I can try things here and there to help with the crying, but sometimes there's just nothing I can do, and it's no big deal. Finally, I bought the Moby wrap, which is a large piece of fabric that you wrap around your body to hold her in. I am not very strong at all, and cradling her in my arms is very hard for me. The wrap allows me to hold her without tiring myself out. It has incredible back support compared to the Snugli I have. Since Monday she has been napping great and not fussing nearly as much. She is starting to make baby noises and smile more, as you can see in the picture. I will take a video once I find the power cord for the video camera!
On the adoption note, when I tell friends and family about our visitation agreement, which is every 3 months until she is 18, they seem surprised. I tell everyone that it is very important for us that the birth mother be able to see her and watch her grow up. With our agency we were required at the minimum to do pictures and letters every three months for the first year. Beyond that we could do 3, 6, or 12 month intervals, and we could choose whether or not we wanted to do visits or just cards and letters for the birth mother. We chose the most frequent option, I think because it's what I would want if I felt the best thing was to place my own baby for adoption.
2 comments:
Congrats on making such an open adoption plan! Could you come and convince some of my families to do the same? :) That is a very courageous, yet healthy thing to do. I hope you are all enriched by the experience! Kinsey is absolutely beautiful, by the way!
Thanks Jill! In some ways I was surprised that more families weren't as open as we were. It didn't seem like that big of a deal when we were starting the process because the thought of someone just GIVING us a baby was an incredible thought, so it felt like the least we could do. I see more now how it can become overwhelming, but still I believe worth it.
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