We found out this week there is a possibility our assignment will be cancelled. Basically, the job requires the person to be able to stay there 3 years, and David plans on retiring in 2 1/2 years from now. He had to write a letter explaining this and sent it to personnel. We will see in another few weeks if they cancel the assignment or not. Hopefully!!! I am planning as though we will end up going so that I don't find myself running out of time getting the house ready to rent if that happens. And of course, still waiting on a baby could change things too.
We have been reading 1Timothy in our small group on Tuesday nights. The last chapter has a couple verses that are so important for me to grasp right now. In 6:6 it says, "Godliness with contentment is great gain." I can't imagine someone being Godly but not content, so I think they go hand in hand. Then in 6:8 it says, "But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that." When it comes to money and things, all I need to live is to have food to eat and clothes to wear. Everything else is just bonus. It doesn't matter where I live, I can have contentment anywhere God sends me.
Also, on Sunday our discussion group in church was talking a little bit about whether we live as though we are owed certain things in life. One of the girls brought up that she had, over the last few years, come to realize that her idea of the perfect life was not God's idea of her perfect life. She has been in the process of learning just what her life is about now that she understands that what she thought her life was supposed to be like wasn't. She said she's discovered new things that she never realized she was passionate about. I thought that was very thought provoking and encouraging. It made me think about how I have been envisioning my perfect life.
So my perfect life consists of living in Tucson, keeping our friends and growing with them and making new friends, having children, staying at home with them for a while, David retiring in a couple of years and becoming a cop, watching our kids grow and learn, helping them discover life and giving them new experiences, finding a job as a nurse that I feel I can make a significant contribution, and keep going on my life in this kind of pattern. I think that while all of those things are great and things we can work toward, none of them are guaranteed. I live in the future way more than I ever live in the present. Instead of looking forward so much, I want to see where I am right now and just live in that.
I can say that this week it has been a little bit easier to live in the present now that I am working part time. I really, really enjoyed my days off this week. I had two days off, and the time is much appreciated since I haven't had much free time in the recent past. I feel a little more like I'm thriving instead of just surviving.