Thursday, September 23, 2010

Stainless Steel or China?

I went to MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) on Tuesday morning at church.  I was very inspired.  The speaker was a pastor at a local church plant and his message centered around how we shape our children.  I can't just hope my child will be a certain way, I need to model the behavior myself.  That's a pretty "duh" statement but I needed to hear it. 

At the end of his message he said something I didn't agree with, though.  I'm not sure if he was trying to be funny, if there was truth behind it, or what, but it got me thinking.  He said when he speaks to men he likes to think of it as throwing a stainless steel coffee mug around, letting it get banged up, because it can take the abuse.  But when he speaks to women he must treat them like china and be gentle, because they are breakable.  Huh?  This got me thinking about how I receive messages and whether I am more breakable or more durable.

I am spiritually dry.  Yuck.  One thing that helps is when people are honest with me when they see me going in a wrong direction.  I'll give you an example of how this has recently occurred.

I was at small group several weeks ago talking about my lack of understanding the need for prayer, if God is omnicient and omnipresent.  I was going around in circles about my thoughts and disbeliefs, and my dear friend said, "You need to stop overthinking everything."  I appreciated her saying this.  I don't actually agree with her statement, but it was a great example of her being bold enough to say something when she saw me faltering. 

I wish I had a little more of this in my life and was treated more like stainless steel rather than china.  Being treated like china seems to allow me to make excuses rather than encourage me to change.  I don't doubt for many women they are more like china in this area, but I guess I'm a stainless steel kind of a girl.


Rach said...

That's funny that you posted about this. I actually loved his talk, too, but felt the same way about that comment. I think it goes along with all the other stereotypes or assumptions that women are a certain way. I agree that you should respect a woman for being a woman and recognize that women may process things differently than men. But, I don't quite agree that women need to be handled like they are breakable when speaking truth. Truth is truth...for men and for women.

cara said...

I also have to say I agree with you as far as wanting the truth. Although I think the majority of women would like to react in a stainless steel way their initial reaction is breaking down; women are much quicker to defend themselves and their actions then men are. I say the 'majority' as a general statement, obviously this doesn't apply to all. Thanks for sharing. It sounds like a good talk and your summary of it has got me thinking....

Danielle Francisco said...

I will be more than happy to treat you like a mug anytime you wish. :)

Leatrice said...

I'm pretty sure he was referring to your kids, not so much adults. Although I think in general it applies to most men/women. Women are offended at the drop of a hat, they ask 'what was that look for?' etc etc, when with a guy, none of that would even register on their radar. You could say something as harshly as possible and most men wouldn't be phased and if they were, 3 minutes later, they wouldn't even remember it. At least that's how I interpreted what he said.