Saturday, May 23, 2009

Third Class!

I probably enjoyed the third class the most. We had a birthmother speak who had just given birth 6 weeks ago. The adoptive parents were there to speak too, and it was an awesome experience. It was so good to see both sides of it. What I liked most about it was that before that night, the idea of the "birthmother" was intangible. I had a hard time understanding the concept. The birthmother was about my age or a little younger and had two or three kids already that she was raising. Her sister had chosen at one point to have an abortion, and she talked about how she knew abortion was not the right option for her. So somehow she heard ofour agency and decided to give up her son for adoption. When she came to the agency she was living in an apartment sleeping on the floor. Our agency helped her get beds for her and her children, get care that she needed, and counseled her through the process. She said when she was looking at the book of families wanting to adopt, she knew as soon as she read the first couple's profile that they were the ones she wanted to raise her child.

She and the adoptive mother have a close relationship and have become friends through the process. They went to prenatal appointments together, and the adoptive mom was there for the birth. It was a C-section and the birthmom asked to be "put out" as soon as the baby was born because she didn't think she could handle seeing the baby. So as soon as the baby delivered she was given something to sedate her and she says she doesn't remember hearing any crying. As the birthmom and adoptive mom were talking describing the birth, both were crying. It was so touching. The adoptive mom said that it was more emotional for her than anyone could imagine, because on one hand she was so excited to meet her son, but was also feeling so sad for the birthmom. Knowing what she was giving up and that it was the hardest thing she ever would have to do made her feel absolutely horrible. The birthmom has not yet met her son and both moms have discussed that when she feels ready, she will meet him then.

I would love to be able to have this kind of a relationship with our child's birthmom. It is rare, but what an amazing story!

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