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Sunday, November 16, 2008

TTC

Yes, folks, that is that category I fit into right now. Trying to Conceive. I've had an emotional month in that area. My nurse practitioner has assured me as best she can that I am not pregnant simply because of "chance", and that there is nothing actually wrong with me other than I need help ovulating and I need to take hormones so my body can support a pregnancy. I think I know of at least 10 present or former (i.e. high school and college) friends who are pregnant. It seems like every time I open up my facebook page, another friend has announced her pregnancy. December will bring us to 12 months of TTC. I don't have the assurance I thought I would have that we should pursue adoption. I wish I did, because now all I have are unknowns. Can I get pregnant? If so, how long will it take? So I am pretty sure God would like to teach me to be so thankful for all that I have in my life. I try every day.

I don't really buy into the "God wants me to be thankful for what I have before He will allow me to have a child" idea. I just don't think God works like that. I think that's a human way of rationalizing why we don't get what we want right away. And if that's how He works, that's fine. I'll find out in Heaven. But I'd much rather try to hear what God is teaching me without trying to figure out why things happen when they happen and why. I think being a child of God is much more about the "what" than the "why".

1 comment:

Rach said...

hey, I left a comment last night and it isn't on here. i don't know what happened. anyways, sarah, i just want you to know i'm praying for you and david. a friend of mine tried for over a year to conceive and it was just a matter of God's timing. looking back, it is amazing to see how God waited until His perfect timing to bless them with a baby because things would have been so different if they had conceived a year earlier. i know it may sound trite coming from me, but i truly believe God has a plan far more amazing than you could imagine in store for you and david. hope you two are doing well.