Blessings

David and I went to the VA today in Phoenix for some routine appointments.  Going to the VA is not like going to any other hospital.  At almost every turn there is someone with a missing limb, in a wheelchair, or limping.  It's incredibly humbling.  I turned to David while we were waiting to be called for an appointment and I said, "We're really blessed."  He agreed with me. 

But then the song "Blessings" by Laura Story came to mind.  I was humbled this time but in a different way.  I am completely misled if I believe that I am more blessed compared to anyone else for any reason, including my health, wealth, status, etc.  God's blessings are not defined by my human standards.

We pray for blessings

We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

(Chorus)

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if the thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Chorus

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home

Chorus

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

-Lyrics from "Blessings" by Laura Story

She's 1!

Woo hoo!  Today is actually the anniversary of the day we brought her home from the hospital (her birthday was on Thursday).  I remember it so clearly. 

I was excited that we were able to have her party today on this anniversary.  The party was great; lots of people.  Also lots of people are in trouble for bringing gifts when they weren't supposed to!  But we nonetheless grateful.  And for every item given we will donate an item of ours.  We were so happy to be able to celebrate her birthday with the people who have supported us throughout the entire last year, and even before she came to us.  I was joking that the party today was to celebrate me having made it as a Mom one entire year...but it's really about being with the people we love and remembering how thankful we are for friendships that keep us going in the good times and the hard times!

This past month I finally decided to stop working my second job and just stay on with my regular job.  More hours opened up so I'd rather devote myself to just one place rather than two.  I have really come to enjoy working with the people I do, and I have finally been able to see myself staying long-term.  What I think this will also do is allow me to have a little bit more of a regular schedule, 3 days a week.  That makes me feel like I will have more consistency with Kinsey, because I know which days I'll be working and can start having a better routine.  For example, we started going to a library play group on Tuesday mornings, so I'm looking forward to regularly being off on Tuesdays so we can make it a habit of going.  I was originally going to MOPS on Tuesdays.  It was really an encouraging place to be but I'd like to get out and meet people in more of a community setting.

Have I told you my babysitter is fantastic?  I love her.  And her entire family, they are exactly what I hope one day for my own family to be like.  Close, supportive, loving, and generous.  She made the cake for the party today, and it was the most gorgeous cake I could have ever dreamed of for her party.  She also made cookies for everyone.

I also had a revelation the past few days about my attitude toward Kinsey.  I am constantly worried about her fussing.  She seems to be much more frustrated than other kids I know, so I'm always wondering why and what to do about it.  When I wake up in the morning I start worrying about what kind of day she's going to have.  If I've been away from her for any reason I start worrying before I see her about how she was while I was gone and how she's going to be when I see her.  I'm pretty sure the reason I worry is because I feel her fussing is a reflection of me as a parent.  I honestly have no idea if that is the case.  I'm sure some of it comes from my parenting, but I don't know how much.  Anyways, it doesn't really matter, because I'm parenting her the way I feel is best for her.  And when I don't think I know what's best, I ask for advice.  So I decided I need to stop worrying in advance and just let her be who she is.  If she's fussy, I can deal with it then.  If she's not, then I'll enjoy the moment rather than be waiting for things to go south.  It's not going to be easy to just suddenly stop worrying, but I know I will enjoy motherhood much more.  Eventually, Kinsey will be able to communicate better, and things will eventually settle down in this area.  Sure, it'll be a few years, but it will come.  In the meantime, I am called to be content and thankful!

Kinsey's Development:

Still walking, but not much change in word usage.  Whatever words she has are still a little iffy.  I think she is pretty clear on "Da da", although she also says that at many other things and people.  She does say "ba ba" when she sees her bottle, although that is again something she will say for other things.  For her books and for birds, she tries to make a "b" sound.  She also makes a sound with inflection that we think might be her saying, "What's that?"  It sort of sounds like "uh sa".

She gained weight back she had lost from last month when she was sick.  Not sure how much, but her belly filled back out again.  Her 12 month appointment is actually this week.  I also need to ask about switching to whole milk.  We tried a couple times over the past two weeks but I'm not quite sure she is ready to digest it well because it caused some almost diarrhea like stools until we stopped giving it to her.  For now I have switched to toddler formula which she has no problem with. 

I have started weaning the bottle, much to my chagrin.  I find it much easier to give her a bottle for a snack rather than food because it is so much easier.  But she doesn't need the bottle anymore and I don't want to risk causing harm to her teeth.  She does well enough with the sippy cup, and I'm sure once she gets used to not having a bottle she will start using the sippy more and more.

Finally, we started taking the Love and Logic parenting class at church.  Kinsey is a little young to implement anything yet.  I still enjoyed our first class last week and think it is going to give us some great tips and examples of how to handle discipline.  The idea is for her to grow up in an environment where she learns by consequences in the small things when she is young, so she can apply what she learned as she gets older in the bigger things.

The length of this post is making me realize I should blog more often!

 

Here are the pictures of the last month.

Here are the pictures from her party.